FilmBender: sh*tfaced on movies

"The Bank Job" doesn't blow

Jason Statham is a rock star... he first hits the screen with style in Guy Ritchie's great Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and then proved his star-power by firing off three rounds in the Transporter series.  And then, of course, "the jobs."  Lots of "jobs."  First there was The Italian Job, and soon will be its sequel, The Brazilian Job.  Stuck in between those is an unrelated "job" called, The Bank Job.  And Lord knows Jason must getting his fare share of blow j*bs.  Like I said... rock star.

So in this one, Jason is paired up with hottie Saffron Burrows who supposedly has a tip on how to heist the safe deposit boxes in a British bank which ends up housing loads of cash and jewelery, but also, tons of secrets, some of which, they were supposed to grab, and some, they weren't.  Cool stuff about the movie are some of the twists and turns and the fact that it is actually based upon true events, in fact, that part is pretty amazing.  What's bullocks in the movie is the fact that they first tunnel into the bank making tons of noise that everyone hears but don't seem all too concerned about, and then second, for some unnecessary reason, they run into a burial chamber before they hit the vault, of which, doesn't seem to have any relevance in the story whatsoever.  The other thing that s*cks is I can't hardly follow the dialogue in any of these Brit films -- slow down, and please, speak English.

FilmBender is Funny Movie Reviews.  Watch the trailer, and then enjoy the film.  There's some hot, 70's, three-way sex scene in the first few minutes, so I'm sure you'll rent it just for that you twisted f*ck.  I did.

Intermission: around the web and better than popcorn

I do a movie review a day, Monday through Friday here at FilmBender.  I watch about thirty movies in the week and internalize the bad ones and just let you know about the good ones (and I should likely have a f*cking therapist figure out why I like to get sh*tfaced on movies).  I take a blogging break on the weekend for my carpel tunnel syndrome and tell you about some pleasures on the web, so...:

 

• Stop by PremiumHollywood to check out their review on a movie made by the band The Flaming Lips called Christmas on Mars.  Personally, I love the band... they are a trip.  Haven't seen this movie, but I've seen a documentary on them that I'll review one of these days, but warning, the review on this motion picture isn't glowing.

• Bullz-Eye is bar none one of the best places to check out all things that guys will dig, but since I've got a movie addiction, sometimes I gravitate away from t & a and stick with film (note to self: maybe talk to a psychiatrist about this as well)... haven't seen this movie yet, but if you know you who Madonna is and you know about Snatch, then you'll know about Guy Ritchie's latest movie, RocknRolla.

• That's enough with the movies, my other past-time is surfing and snowboarding, and since it 'tis the season, let's stop by AskMen.com to find out about the Top 10 Luxury Ski Resorts... I've only been to two... eghads!... do I need to start binging on snowboarding as well?!

• And if you want to be green (just to be good or just to impress the ladies), then here's a little learnin' from The Bachelor Guy.

• And if that doesn't work, then swing by the "illusions" page on SpikedHumor to learn a little magic to impress the ladies (or to take control of their minds and actions).

• Now... here's our target... go to HollywoodTuna and check out the topless pictures of Lucy Pinder and realize how much you appreciate ice cream.  Two big scoops please.

• GorillaMask.net... need I say more? 

• Closing off the link dump with the site that mixes celebrity gossip with the hottest ladies... that's Celebslam with the perfect cocktail once again -- bikini shots of ex-Jerry Seinfeld babe, Shoshanna Lonstein... no way she'll drown with those.