FilmBender: sh*tfaced on movies

"The Illusionist" is prestigious

The Illusionist (not to be confused with The Prestige with Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale and Scarlett Johansson) stars Jessica Biel and Edward Norton.  Both are great movies, by the way, but what's strange is that they are fairly similar and were released in the same year.  I assume that's no coincidence and yet another mystery that's beyond my understanding.

Although the other movie is from a more seasoned director, this one is my favorite of the two and is a romantic thriller set in early 20th Century Vienna.  Basically, younger versions of Jessica and Edward become interested in each other as kids to the disapproval from her parents.  Edward fails to magically make their relationship work at that time and goes off to China to hone his craft before returning 15 years later to charm the pants off Jessica.  Needless to say, the aristocrat's fiance, the Crown Prince played by Rufus Sewell, is not happy (with a name like that, how could he be?).  Anyway, watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Primal Fear" and it's two lead characters

Richard Gere plays the slick defense attorney and Ed Norton is introduced to the world as a sheepish murder suspect in a powerhouse debut that's still resonating more than ten years later.  Primal Fear is one of those films that will knock your socks off, and here, as I've eluded, it's got as much to do with the incredible acting as it does with the amazing story.  It will totally surprise you... in fact, I can say with a high degree of confidence that this one will shock you more than if Richard just dropped his pants and pulled a gerbil out of his *ss.

Other than that... it's also practically Laura Linney's first theatrical work as well.  She's easy on the eyes, and that's a good thing because, although I love her, Frances McDormand is in it too.  Alfre Woodard rounds out the colorful cast... she's always great.  Last but not least, the director hasn't done much of anything before or since (can you say, lighting in a bottle).  Anyway, watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Fight Club" is the ultimate and MMA is not

Pretty lame, I know, trying to tell you anything about Fight Club.  So if you haven't seen this movie yet, let's take care of you real quick.  First, take your keyboard and smash your f-ing face with it... 9 times.  Second, take your mouse, and this time, you don't need to use that Habitrail that you have hidden way up high in your closet under the sweaters -- just go bare back.  Ok... deep breath... park the mouse.  Good.

Now, you'll need to wash your hands.  Our friend Brad Pitt here can help you with that.  But first, he's going to have to kick the living sh*t out of you.  Now you are ready to enjoy the movie, of which, happens to be a top five of all time if you ask me.

Ed Norton is in it too.  Let's go ahead and have him kick your *ss as well.  Better ask him if you can remove the mouse first 'cause that's going to ache bein' in there and all.  Saying "please" usually helps.

Oh yeah.  Movie review.  Right.  So... David Fincher directed it... great acting... awesome story with loads of surprises... Helena Bonham Carter, Meat Loaf, Jared Leto... blah, blah, blah. That's all you get.  Afterwards, be sure to check out a favorite snarky celebrity gossip website of mine, WWTDD, strangely named after the character/s in the movie.  A maverick of a site and hilarious.

 

FilmBender is Funny Movie Reviews.  Check the trailer... if you've already seen the movie, rent it again.  If you haven't seen the movie, first, take your keyboard....