FilmBender: sh*tfaced on movies

"Alien" 4-play is better than sex

Sigourney Weaver and no-holds-barred, top-of-the-stack directors are common threads among the Alien film franchise.  Four films were made thus far (starting out in 1979 with the last in 1997), so I'm wondering who has the b*lls to try to continue this solid run... beyond Sigourney that is... she seems to have bigger cojones than anything in the universe and may well be a dude for all I know (btw, what the f*ck kind of name is that anyway).  And yes, I'm completely ignoring the whole Alien vs. Predator piece of sh*t knock off of Godzilla vs. "x" schlock.

Ridley Scott poked the first installment out out of the belly and right onto the screen with Oscar-winning technical grace.  James Cameron was behind the helm of the unsinkable ship and continuing the Academy Award-action-packed sequel, Aliens.  And for Alien 3, David Fincher makes a solid play but nothing compared to his three follow-up films: Seven, The Game, and Fight Club.  Finishing up just a little limp as well (and certainly compared to his other visionary works) with the fourth known dimension of the series, Alien Resurrection, is Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Amelie and City of Lost Children among others).  Watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Fight Club" is the ultimate and MMA is not

Pretty lame, I know, trying to tell you anything about Fight Club.  So if you haven't seen this movie yet, let's take care of you real quick.  First, take your keyboard and smash your f-ing face with it... 9 times.  Second, take your mouse, and this time, you don't need to use that Habitrail that you have hidden way up high in your closet under the sweaters -- just go bare back.  Ok... deep breath... park the mouse.  Good.

Now, you'll need to wash your hands.  Our friend Brad Pitt here can help you with that.  But first, he's going to have to kick the living sh*t out of you.  Now you are ready to enjoy the movie, of which, happens to be a top five of all time if you ask me.

Ed Norton is in it too.  Let's go ahead and have him kick your *ss as well.  Better ask him if you can remove the mouse first 'cause that's going to ache bein' in there and all.  Saying "please" usually helps.

Oh yeah.  Movie review.  Right.  So... David Fincher directed it... great acting... awesome story with loads of surprises... Helena Bonham Carter, Meat Loaf, Jared Leto... blah, blah, blah. That's all you get.  Afterwards, be sure to check out a favorite snarky celebrity gossip website of mine, WWTDD, strangely named after the character/s in the movie.  A maverick of a site and hilarious.

 

FilmBender is Funny Movie Reviews.  Check the trailer... if you've already seen the movie, rent it again.  If you haven't seen the movie, first, take your keyboard....