FilmBender: sh*tfaced on movies

"Super High Me" bongs at the box office

 

Doug Benson is the blazing stand-up comedian behind the documentary, Super High Me.  As you can imagine, it is a "pot" version of the infamous Super Size Me documentary where some guy eats nothing but McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner for one month straight and monitors his resulting decline in various measures of health along the way.

Doug, a self-proclaimed stoner, sets off on his journey for 30 days of not smoking at all (which was a challenge in itself).  He measures his health and other indices of "being" to get a baseline, and then burns it up for the following 30 and keeps track of his, you guessed it, improving stats.  Plenty of stand-up material (and joints) in this one, and while it is a film most appreciated by those who love Mary Jane, even straight shooters should check it out.  I mean, in a day when politicians have now bankrupt California to the extent that 800-million-dollar budget cuts have been made directly to public schools, maybe we should all just pull some tubes and legalize hemp and put well over one billion in tax dollars right back into the Golden State.  Watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Confessions of a Shopaholic" and rationalizing why I watched a chick flick

 

Let's get straight to it... Confessions of a Shopaholic is about as "chick flick" as you could possibly get.  Except I suppose you could at least argue that this one has hot chicks and humor, so maybe it is OK for a guy to watch it.  The film is basically a PG-rated mash-up of Sex and the City and Legally Blonde, so while the MPAA rating takes away much of the "sex" part, it still is a decent story about "addiction" (that could be related to drug, alcoholic and/or online porn habits I suppose) that's pretty funny and, as mentioned, is loaded with hot girls.

Isla Fisher is the lead and does everything she can to push up her cleavage in every outfit (can't believe I just said "outfit").  She's decent.  But the ones to watch if you ask me are the best friend, Krysten Ritter, and the leggy blonde in the pic, Leslie Bibb.  Kristin Scott Thomas, John Goodman, Joan Cusack, John Lithgow and some guy named Hugh Dancy round out the cast.  Watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Burn After Reading" and hachet after shooting

 

I swear to God I'm NOT in love with the Coen brothers.  But even after many people told me that Burn After Reading was not very good, and so I put off watching it for months, and then I watched it last night... I f*cking thought it was great (ok, maybe I am in [heart] with Joel and Ethan).  I think all of their movies are good or incredible.  With this one, maybe I now think it could have something to do with expectation setting, but really, there are many appealing things about it.  While this film is more of a dark comedy instead of a dark drama, it's a lot like Fargo in that it features "locals" who are about as sharp as a bowing ball and keep getting themselves deeper and deeper into trouble because of it.

Another totally cool thing about this movie is a "goofy" Brad Pitt.  I mean, how many times do we need to see "stud" Pitt.  Here, he is probably the roundest of all the goof [bowling] balls of all and is also traveling down the alley for a surprising and explosive strike.  That's another thing that's great about a Coen brothers movie... you just don't know what's going to happen next.  When George Clooney takes Frances McDormand down into his basement, I was scared sh*tless.  And when John Malcovich is on screen, who the f*ck knows what could happen.  Just watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Superbad" *ss

You'll hear plenty of classic bad words delivered with incredible skill along with some super bad words that are creative and hilarious ones you'd never dream up like "baby toes" (for "nipples") in Superbad.  In fact, there are so many funny little things in this movie, and I just see co-writer Seth Rogan behind every word and delivery like that funny friend who's always coining something f-ed up that becomes lingo at the whole school and is always crackin' everyone up.  I'd really like to party with that dude.

For Seth, and practically everyone else involved in the film from the cast to the director, this is a feature debut (although it is Seth and Judd Apatow's follow-up production to their also-classic 40-Year-Old Virgin).  Regardless, this hero leaps tall buildings in a single bound.  It is super hilarious.  I suppose Jonah Hill can get a little annoying with his incessant yelling, but he along with Michael Cera and Christopher Mintz-Plasse and hotties Martha MacIsaac and Emma Stone were great.  Watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Chopper" is the Harley-Davidson of Aussy criminals

Mark Read is loud, big and showy with all his body paint.  He's Australia's most notorious criminal and somehow has taken his experiences and actually turned them into best-selling pulp novels... who says crime doesn't pay.  Well, there's a movie about this real guy titled from his nickname, Chopper.  The movie will knock your f*ckin' socks off.  It is a powerhouse of a film, and it's only partly due to the solid anti-hero story, the tight screenwriting and the low-fi directing; it's mainly due to the amazing performance by Eric Bana.

Sure... maybe you know him from Black Hawk Down, Troy, Hulk, or Munich, but take Eric's roles from every one of those films, and stuff 'em all into one character, put it on crack, electrocute it, and then just set that f*cker on fire, and that's about half of what it takes to describe what his character is like in this movie.  You won't believe it.  He will scare the living sh*t out of you.  Just watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"L.A. Story" captures the cliché, the superficial, the sunshine and Sarah

Steve Martin, God bless him, is a legend.  It can't be easy being this funny for so long and for so many people.  He's even got himself at the helm of the Pink Panther franchise.  What a talent.  Here, with L.A. Story, Steve was even the screen writer, and the film is clever and the acting is fun as well.  He manages to pack every single little quirk that's associated with the City of Angels right into this flick, and it would make for a fun drinking game to try and spot them all. 

Anyway, he's paired with Victoria Tennant who doesn't do much of anything for me, but it also has Sarah Jessica Parker who is the bubble-gum chewin', carefree Valley Girl who you'll fall in love with for sure.  When she takes his pants measurements, you'll see what I mean... you'll feel obligated to do whatever she says, where ever she wants, and it will happen so fast, you'll not have much time to consider your availability or much of anything else.  Wish I could have found that clip, but check out a weather one which is part of the fun as well... watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"In Bruges" and in heaps of trouble

 

In Bruges starring Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson is a quirky buddy comedy crime thriller that's a bit of an odd duck when it comes to movies.  It's actually really good but kinda tough to classify... suppose you'd say it's like an art house, foreign (though not foreign language) version of Lethal Weapon with a little quirk added in -- though I'm not sure you'd see it and agree with me.  And when I say it's not foreign language, well, it's one of those Colin Farrell movies, and that f*ck talks so damn fast that it might as well be Latin if you ask me.

The two hit men are hiding out as tourists in the Flemish city enjoying the beautiful architecture and you'll be pleased to know there's a few hot babes in it as well (Clémence Poésy and Thekla Reuten).  Strange things and people popping up in the flick including a little person (with an unusually large forehead) that you can see here... watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"The Aristocrats" are totally f*cking offensive

 

Gilbert Gottfried, Don Rickles, Bob Sagat, Chris Rock, Whoppi Goldberg, George Carlin and Sarah Silverman are just a smidgen of the comics who are all in on the joke.  They take part in a little-known game that's been going on in improv comedic circles since Vaudeville, The Aristocrats.  There's really no boundaries to this free-form joke, of which, comedians dare to amuse each other, and it will literally shock you at how far ANY and ALL of them take it.  However, the basic premise of the joke's storyline must stay in tact -- a family visits a talent agent, perform the most gruesome, tasteless, disgusting, incestuous act ever.  Plus, the joke always ends the same way -- with the agent asking what the family act is called, "The Aristocrats."

So it sounds nonsensical and it totally, admittedly is.  The documentary itself is pretty good, but just witnessing some of the acts is completely worth watching it.  I'm no prude, but coming into this without knowing anything about it will completely f*ck you up.  I'm going to give you a glimpse of it all right here... just check out the absolutely, positively, totally NSFW, politically incorrect and universally offensive version of the joke by the kids from Southpark... I warned you... so at your own risk... watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Step Brothers" are a couple of wicked, funny, d*ckhead, dorks

 

This captures who the Step Brothers are, and possibly who we'd all like to be if we didn't have a single responsibility in the world.  Yes, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are brought together Brady Bunch-style when parents Richard Jenkins and Mary Steenburgen have a chance meeting and fall in love being totally compatible -- all the way down to each having 40-year-old spoiled brat sons living at home.  Tons of hilarious situations and mean sh*t going on between the two "kids" who have an I-hate-you / bestest friends / I-f*cking-hate-you relationship.

One thing this movie is missing is heat... mother Mary is actually a MILF of sorts, but when Kathryn Hahn plays the I-hate-my-life-and-husband sister in-law and love interest to John C., there's really a lack of eye candy which is kind of a must in goofball comedies if you ask me.  However Kathryn's character is somewhat interesting, and what's even better is her snobby, yuppie, f*ckface husband, Adam Scott.  He's actually great in this... watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Old School" new tricks

 

I probably haven't laughed this much in a movie in quite a long time.  Old School is f-ing hilarious.  It's packed with loads of talent... it's kind of amazing:  Ellen Pompeo, Will Ferrell, Artie Lange, Luke Wilson, Jeremy Piven, Juliette Lewis, Craig Kilborn, Leah Remini, Andy Dick, Snoop Dogg, and last but not least, Vince Vaughn.  And I'm sure all of them signed on because of Will, which is certainly justified, and he totally delivers in this one (might be his funniest movie ever).

But I need to say that Vince, here as always, also shines and carries the film.  In fact, I think he has more of the laughs and doesn't have the benefit of the physical comedy that Will can fall back on.  Sure, Vince always plays the same f*cking character, but he's awesome as that dude (maybe it's really him) and can even turn crappy films into good ones using that same character (ie John Favreau's directorial debut, Made).  "Ear muffs" is the classic take-a-way one liner which is good, but that's just the icing on the cake.  Everything about his character is classic.  Watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"O Brother, Where Art Thou?" and O Muse! Sing in me, and through me tell the story...

 

O Brother, Where Art Thou? is yet another near masterpiece from the Coen brothers (written and directed) that follows three 1930's escaped convicts -- George Clooney, John Turturro and Tim Blake Nelson -- on their quest to recover some stashed cash.  Quest is probably the wrong word because, as you may know, the film is loosely based upon (and also receives a writer's credit for) Homer's Odyssey. Joel and Ethan Cohen, in this film, reach back into their familiar bag of tricks and again successfully pull out quirky and original and John Goodman and Holly Hunter.  Of course George and John are also part of the alum, and the whole gang pull off a comedic crime film that's an absolute blast.

Plus, this time around, Joel and Ethan have a shiv up their sleeve and surprise us all with their trio of chained leads unbridled behind the mic as they manage to pick up a record deal on their journey as the bluegrass music sensations, The Soggy Bottom Boys.  Strange as that sounds, it makes beautiful music worthy of simply going out and buying the soundtrack alone, that's if, the movie as well wasn't so d*mn good (so buy it too).  Listen up and watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Juno" got prego

The film started out, like, totally annoying.  Juno's star/break-out character and namesake, Ellen Page, talks kinda like Jon Heder in Napoleon Dynamite.  That character totally bugged to the extent that I, somehow, happen to be the only guy I know that wanted to barf after watching it.  And I'm supposed to love that kinda sh*t.  Maybe I'm sorta softening to his infamous character, but it's more because of the meme, and possibly, from Howard Stern's endearing and bumbling whack packer, Jamie "JD" Harmeyer.

Back to Ellen... same thing happened here... but it was much quicker.  I softened to her "like dude" slang before the second trimester.  And it's great that the nerds rule in this film and they have unknowns in the lead and hottie Jennifer Garner and has-been-'til-Arrested Development Jason Bateman in the secondary roles.  And though they look perfect, they're f*cked.  Love that.  Michael Cera (also Arrested Development plus Superbad) is Ellen's super geeky-cool co-conspirator in teenage impregnation, and the two wrestle with the notion of putting the zygote up for adoption and with their feelings for each other and their esthetically flawed existence through a charming, quirky little duet that is, well, just perfect... listen, watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Bend It Like Beckham" and nipple it like Victoria

It's a little whack that Posh Spice rises like a f*cking smoking hot phoenix by marrying the soccer superstar, changing her name to Victoria Beckham and having a tendency to wear ultra-sheen tops and slip the nip.  But then again, how strange is it that her husband, obviously David Beckham, dominates "football," looks like a stud in a thousand different hair varieties and get's an awesome movie made about him as the backdrop with his name emblazoned in the title, Bend It Like Beckham.  Will someone please tell me they have body odor or toe fungus or something less desirable than my situation.

Anyway, the movie stars Parminder Nagra and Keira Knightley, who looks pretty d*mn good if you ask me (if you're a chick or a little swishy you'll like Jonathan Rhys Meyers).  And the director, Gurinder Chadha, is no slouch... she's the writer/director for the incredible Bhaji on the Beach and What's Cooking? films, plus, though I haven't seen it, Pride & Prejudice which is suppose to be quality.  Bend It brings that same good bones into a sports setting that she had to support each of the unique worlds of her prior-mentioned works.  Watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Beavis and Butt-head Do America" bareback

Ok... so I've basically gone three days in a row with symmetrical composition movie stills.  Heh, heh.  Heh, heh.  But this one's different because it's got Washington's, er, Monument.  Heh, heh.  Beavis and Butt-head Do America will officially turn you into a moron, and frankly, it's kind of relaxing, so I highly recommend it.

A true pioneer in the raw, "adult animation" genre, this movie (and the TV show it's an extension of) is groundbreaking in making st*pid humor genius (maybe that's a stretch).  The creator, Mike Judge (later, of Office Space fame), wrote, directed and voiced the two main characters and totally captures the 80's, Midwestern, prepubescent hesher mentality (or lack thereof).  It rocks, and the celebrity voices from the likes of David Letterman, Demi Moore and Bruce Willis are the cherry on top.  Heh, Heh... I said "cherry."  Anyway, watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Analyze This" and humanize that

1999 was the year of the gangster who we can all relate to.  Analyze This happened to bring us the comical version and The Sopranos brought us the dramatic (albeit a tinge more violent) fare.  Since this is a movie site, I'll stick with cry baby number one, Robert De Niro.  He plays the mob boss with a super-sensitive side (and panic attacks and other unmentionables when it comes to untouchables).  It's hilarious to see that dichotomy, and what's even better, is him landing on the couch of a Jewish shrink that's, frankly, just as neurotic as the stressed-out wiseguy.

The psychiatrist, played by Billy Crystal, is scared for his life in that he's got the responsibility of relieving Robert's high anxiety, and the comedic relationship they have and the situations are priceless.  Given it's from the direction of Harold Ramis, the LOL legend who brought us National Lampoon's Vacation (God help us for what's happened to that franchise), it's no surprise this organized crime comedy is likely the funniest setup to ever hit the screen.  Anyway, watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Dazed and Confused" and blazed and amused

 

Jason London plays the all-around school stud in Dazed and Confused -- quarterback and partyer yet remains unclassified.  He, along with Parker Posey, Ben Affleck and a few others also give great performances that likely line up with all the common cast of characters in every high school across the country in any decade.  But this isn't just any decade... this is the 70's, so you might also find a few dudes in this movie that are unique in every imaginable way.

Case in point, Matthew McConaughey.  This is basically the Texan's break-out debut, and man it is f-ing hilarious.  He's a smooth and slimy alum who literally hangs out at his former high school and cherry picks.  You've never seen syrup this thick... he's awesome.  Famed Slacker, also-Texan Director, Richard Linklater created the ultimate character and discovered a superstar to fill it.  Groovy.