FilmBender: sh*tfaced on movies

"In Bruges" and in heaps of trouble

 

In Bruges starring Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson is a quirky buddy comedy crime thriller that's a bit of an odd duck when it comes to movies.  It's actually really good but kinda tough to classify... suppose you'd say it's like an art house, foreign (though not foreign language) version of Lethal Weapon with a little quirk added in -- though I'm not sure you'd see it and agree with me.  And when I say it's not foreign language, well, it's one of those Colin Farrell movies, and that f*ck talks so damn fast that it might as well be Latin if you ask me.

The two hit men are hiding out as tourists in the Flemish city enjoying the beautiful architecture and you'll be pleased to know there's a few hot babes in it as well (Clémence Poésy and Thekla Reuten).  Strange things and people popping up in the flick including a little person (with an unusually large forehead) that you can see here... watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Irréversible" is being *ss raped in a tunnel

Quite possibly the most tragic and harsh and dizzying movie you'll ever witness.   Irréversible stars the absolutely beautiful Italian model/actress, Monica Bellucci (The Matrix sequels among some other gems I will review in due time), who is so angelic that you would most definitely sacrifice your own life if you could prevent anyone from so much as pinching her to a level of discomfort that she opposed.  So when you see her getting rapped for what's the most exhausting and heinous and horrible scene (and geish, it must have lasted ten minutes straight in a single shot), you want to kick your f*cking plasma just to stop it and go find that f*cker and beat the living f*ckng sh*t out of his skull with a crow bar.  Phew.  Relax.

OK... so this amount of rage is where this movie starts out.  In the most confusing and surreal set up that you will ever experience in a film.  It's a single camera shot as well that floats through the air spinning and spinning through alleyways of a city and cycles down into a first-person stroll into the bowels of the most scary and bizarre club you've ever seen.  From there, the movie just goes off and into a rage that you finally figure out is happening in reverse sequence. 

Watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"From Dusk Till Dawn" and the walk of shame home

 

Salma Hayek scorches the screen in her stripper scene in the film From Dusk Till Dawn.  This role may represent the first time you've seen her here in the U.S. though the director, Robert Rodriguez, also cast her opposite Antonio Banderas in an earlier film of his made for the states, Desperado (which was a re-make of his notorious low budget thriller El Mariachi).

Other babes in the flick are Juliett Lewis and Kelly Preston, but besides Salma (who alone makes the film worth watching), the movie is really noteworthy because of the mix of writer (and co-star) Quentin Tarantino and the famed director (Robert).  You'll get outrageous in this one, and you'll get eye-popping visuals that bleed with the reds of a weathered seat cushion in a house of prostitution.  Quentin can't really act, but his presence is interesting.  George Clooney also co-stars and kills it as always.  Watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"The Animatrix" for those who take the blue pill AND the red pill

 

I've been blogging on movies I love for almost six months now.  That's nothing compared to some of the blog mavericks like Gawker.com, TheSuperficial.com, BoingBoing.net or even some of the newer, instant classics like HipsterRunnoff.com.  But I can tell you, it already seems like a long time, so silly as it sounds, I thought I'd pay homage to my first post... for one of my all-time favorite movies, The Matrix (not a particularly good post I might add), for which I simply can't get enough.  There obviously are also two sequels which paled in comparison, but when pitted against most of the other sci-fi fare that's regurgitated by the Hollywood machine, they are still rock solid.  However, many people seemed to have missed the animated series of shorts that are a great way to really fill up on your Matrix lore, The Animatrix.

These film shorts are amazing.  They'll remind you of Ghost in the Shell, Heavy Metal and Aeon Flux, but of course, feature Trinity, Neo and the familiar cast of machines and characters that fill the back-story to that special place we all know and love.  Watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Primal Fear" and it's two lead characters

Richard Gere plays the slick defense attorney and Ed Norton is introduced to the world as a sheepish murder suspect in a powerhouse debut that's still resonating more than ten years later.  Primal Fear is one of those films that will knock your socks off, and here, as I've eluded, it's got as much to do with the incredible acting as it does with the amazing story.  It will totally surprise you... in fact, I can say with a high degree of confidence that this one will shock you more than if Richard just dropped his pants and pulled a gerbil out of his *ss.

Other than that... it's also practically Laura Linney's first theatrical work as well.  She's easy on the eyes, and that's a good thing because, although I love her, Frances McDormand is in it too.  Alfre Woodard rounds out the colorful cast... she's always great.  Last but not least, the director hasn't done much of anything before or since (can you say, lighting in a bottle).  Anyway, watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"O Brother, Where Art Thou?" and O Muse! Sing in me, and through me tell the story...

 

O Brother, Where Art Thou? is yet another near masterpiece from the Coen brothers (written and directed) that follows three 1930's escaped convicts -- George Clooney, John Turturro and Tim Blake Nelson -- on their quest to recover some stashed cash.  Quest is probably the wrong word because, as you may know, the film is loosely based upon (and also receives a writer's credit for) Homer's Odyssey. Joel and Ethan Cohen, in this film, reach back into their familiar bag of tricks and again successfully pull out quirky and original and John Goodman and Holly Hunter.  Of course George and John are also part of the alum, and the whole gang pull off a comedic crime film that's an absolute blast.

Plus, this time around, Joel and Ethan have a shiv up their sleeve and surprise us all with their trio of chained leads unbridled behind the mic as they manage to pick up a record deal on their journey as the bluegrass music sensations, The Soggy Bottom Boys.  Strange as that sounds, it makes beautiful music worthy of simply going out and buying the soundtrack alone, that's if, the movie as well wasn't so d*mn good (so buy it too).  Listen up and watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Juno" got prego

The film started out, like, totally annoying.  Juno's star/break-out character and namesake, Ellen Page, talks kinda like Jon Heder in Napoleon Dynamite.  That character totally bugged to the extent that I, somehow, happen to be the only guy I know that wanted to barf after watching it.  And I'm supposed to love that kinda sh*t.  Maybe I'm sorta softening to his infamous character, but it's more because of the meme, and possibly, from Howard Stern's endearing and bumbling whack packer, Jamie "JD" Harmeyer.

Back to Ellen... same thing happened here... but it was much quicker.  I softened to her "like dude" slang before the second trimester.  And it's great that the nerds rule in this film and they have unknowns in the lead and hottie Jennifer Garner and has-been-'til-Arrested Development Jason Bateman in the secondary roles.  And though they look perfect, they're f*cked.  Love that.  Michael Cera (also Arrested Development plus Superbad) is Ellen's super geeky-cool co-conspirator in teenage impregnation, and the two wrestle with the notion of putting the zygote up for adoption and with their feelings for each other and their esthetically flawed existence through a charming, quirky little duet that is, well, just perfect... listen, watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Beavis and Butt-head Do America" bareback

Ok... so I've basically gone three days in a row with symmetrical composition movie stills.  Heh, heh.  Heh, heh.  But this one's different because it's got Washington's, er, Monument.  Heh, heh.  Beavis and Butt-head Do America will officially turn you into a moron, and frankly, it's kind of relaxing, so I highly recommend it.

A true pioneer in the raw, "adult animation" genre, this movie (and the TV show it's an extension of) is groundbreaking in making st*pid humor genius (maybe that's a stretch).  The creator, Mike Judge (later, of Office Space fame), wrote, directed and voiced the two main characters and totally captures the 80's, Midwestern, prepubescent hesher mentality (or lack thereof).  It rocks, and the celebrity voices from the likes of David Letterman, Demi Moore and Bruce Willis are the cherry on top.  Heh, Heh... I said "cherry."  Anyway, watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Primer" is the first layer (of fungus on my brain?)

Primer is an interesting movie to say the least.  It's probably the lowest budget sci-fi movie that's ever been made.  Props on that accomplishment.  David Sullivan and Shane Carruth are two engineers who are building something, but there's so much mumbo-jumbo, techno kung fu talk, that I'm not exactly sure if it was mumbo jumbo or even what the f*ck they set out to build.  The point is, it really doesn't matter.  Although they didn't intend to build a time machine, that's what they surprisingly ended up with.  They, obviously, try to use it to cash in on the stock market, but as you can imagine, things can get a little messy when you even think about the space-time continuum -- let alone smush yourself and a buddy through it.

Shane wrote and directed the film.  The concept he came up with is clever, I think (the theory might be Nobel prize-winning physics for all I know).  And the casual filming style and the overlapping dialog and the fact that it's totally low-fi makes it feel very real, and ultimately, makes the science of it all seem plausible.  Unfortunately, for me, there's so many words packed into this movie and bumping into each other that my brain tends to twitch a bit and kinda freezes up.  Whit Stillman movies (Barcelona and Metropolitan) cause the same malfunction for me as well.  Woody Allen films seem to represent my words per movie processing cap.  Maybe I can have these guys build an accelerator for my noodle.  Anyway, watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Pulp Fiction" is a cool mystery

There's at least a gazillion reasons that Pulp Fiction is the coolest movie ever made.  I am not stating that it's the best, but after fifteen years of testing, the coolest.

Before I simply list a few, I thought I'd start out by saying that a "conspiracy" email went viral detailing all the mysterious little things in the film that go unexplained... this email nicely wrapped up all the issues with credited analysis and put a bow on everything including the Ving Rhames back-of-the-neck Band-Aid, the glowing briefcase, the biblical quotes and the shots at point blank that, er, miss.  Here's a hint of these related theories.  I'm sure if you Wikipedia or Google this stuff you'd find much more.  Wish I could find that old email for you.  It was from '95 or something.  The movie spawned my first viral email.  Cool.

As always for famed director Quentin Tarrantino, he picks an original and punchy soundtrack of eclectics and stuffs the cast with unique actors portraying distinctive roles.  Harvey Keitel, Rosanna Arquette, Samuel L. Jackson, Uma Thurman, Bruce Willis, Eric Stoltz, Rosanna Arquette, Tim Roth, Ving Rhames, Christopher Walken, Steve Buscemi, and ultimately, John Travolta -- introducing, redefining, solidifying and resurrecting.  Totally cool.

"Tropic Thunder" is partly funny

Tropic Thunder is as funny as most of the other spoof movies that have come to screen.  The story gimmick is ok but doesn't really lend that much to everything that is good and funny and edgy about the movie.

The characters are all what generate the laughs in this one.  Matthew McConaughey kicks *ss as the slimy agent... and I didn't really know much about this movie before I sat down to watch it, so this was a surprise to me.  Ben Stiller is always great in that naive dude he always plays, and he directed as well, which is pretty impressive for a dumb f*ck with such a big concept.  Jack Black as a heroine addict is hilarious... I'll always laugh at that guy.  Nick Nolte is the gruff vet and totally fits the part.  And the cameo from Tom Cruise is awesome... even down to the rolling credits when he's dancing around... that guy may be a total freak in real life, but I suppose he can act.

And finally, then there's Robert Downey Jr.  Hilarious.  Just watch the trailer.

FilmBender is Funny Movie Reviews.  Those "for your consideration" spoofs at the beginning of the movie are funny and help with the set up, but again, Robert Downey Jr. is the one that really has the juicy part and the great lines, and probably like Cruise, the skill to totally pull it off.  Funny movie, but just for these two roles, totally worth watching.  (Surprised they didn't figure out a way to put some hot babes into the film... a movie like dis kinda needs dat.)

"Brazil" is a trip

For those of you too young to know much about the British comedy troupe, Monty Python, you also probably won't have heard of Terry Gilliam -- member and animator for the bonkers bunch of blokes.  He turned director for a giant cult film that carries their strange and snakey name that I won't spend any time on today, rather, on Brazil -- a surreal, bureaucratic dystopia that is far stranger than what Terry was able to conjure up to date.

But yet, he surely wasn't close to where we are today either -- a quarter century into the future from when he created the film.  Actually, Gilliam was really putting a lens on the movie that had the Orwellian perspective of the future from the late 40's (I think) -- well more than half a century into the future from George's 1984.  I don't believe anyone has quite imaged quite accurately where we've ended up.

FilmBender is Funny Movie Reviews.  Bob Hoskins, Robert De Niro, Michael Palin and Jonathan Pryce are all in the movie.  It hardly matters who's in it though, the vision and imagery take you to places and times that transcend the flesh and blood of the actors and of what your synapses are likely able to process.  I look around at the pollution, the terrorism and the vanity of where we are today and think, after watching this movie, "there's no place like home."  Awesome movie.

"No Country for Old Men" and the chilling hairstyle and scuba tank

There are two stars in this movie (pictured).  At first glance, seems totally harmless.  But then you realize that a monotone Spaniard with a Monkee's haircut walking around today is a little scary.  And then when you find out what that haircut's scuba tank is all about, you're pretty much f*cked.  No Country for Old Men is a great story that's told well with a ton of great performances and surprises and more-than-cameo appearances from people you want to see that deliver way more than just meat and potatoes to the film.  A tension blankets the film that is indescribable and captivating, but seriously, if it weren't for Javier Bardem and his haircut and his scuba tank, this movie would be a solid notch below the high mark.

Josh Brolin, Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones and Kelly Macdonald are solid, as noted, and under the extremely capable and well direction of the Coen brothers.  It's an Oscar-winner and is extremely satisfying and is an argument to never step foot in Texas.

FilmBender is Funny Movie Reviews.  The most controversial thing, though, besides the lead character/s is the ending.  I hear it's faithful to the book.  It basically worked for me, but for some, it could wipe away much of the good will the movie won us over with leading all the way up to the, er, final cut.

"The Truman Show" is the ultimate in reality TV

It's not like this movie predicted the world's obsession with reality shows like Keeping Up with the Kardashians, The Hills, and America's Next Top Model because MTV's The Real World was well under way; but The Truman Show sure did realize that reality was here to stay.  Though there hasn't been a show with such a high concept, the total number and variety are certainly more than could have ever been thought possible back in 1998 when the movie was released.  Just check out TV.com for the most popular reality TV shows ever... hardly a single one was from the last millennium.

Jim Carrey's affable way truly lends to the believability that he's unknowingly living in an unreal world.  Laura Linney and Ed Harris are solid too.  I have a few issues with the ending and the boat ride and even with Ed's character, but it can't take away, in my eyes, one of the most imaginative and well executed movies of its type.

FilmBender is Funny Movie Reviews.  Peter Weir directed it... he's had a few solid films, but I would say it's a bit of a surprise how easily he contains this potentially unwieldy and colossal concept in a nice and neat hermetically sealed stage.  You've probably seen the movie, so I'm not sure why I'm even telling you about it.  If you haven't, then come back to reality and give it a spin.  If so, you should watch it again.  Reality shows are addictive.  God knows that I've watched The Girls Next Door episodes a few times over... well... maybe that's for a different reason though.

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" is a lifetime

Brad Pitt is old.  Wonder if that's why he took the role in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button -- to cover his own wrinkles.  Kind of a joke, but frankly, he plops out as a wrinkly old infant and grows up in this movie (er, grows down).  Look... I'm all for gimmicks, but this one is kinda half baked.  I'm not sure it lends much to the movie besides hogtie Pitt from being able to show any real ability to act his age.  I mean, have you ever seen a four-year-old boy?... come on, they are a f*cking loud, wild handful until they hit adolescence, and then boys just talk about t*ts and *ss and f*rts until they get married and their wives tell 'em to shut the f*ck up.  Here, old and crusty kid Brad is just a calm and quiet bore.

Hey, I dig the epic.  Yo, I dig the love story through the ages.  I'm a sensitive guy.  The movie's great on many levels.  The effects are good (how they screw Pitt's head on that little body is beyond me).  And Cate Blanchett is totally watchable and actually looks hot in this one... not sure if it's because she's a ballerina or if I'm warmin' up to those cheekbones.  I can tell you the latter can't be the case 'cause Tilda Swinton is in this one as well, and queen chisel-cheek still can't warm milk if you ask me.

FilmBender is Funny Movie Reviews.  David Fincher directed this one... he did some of the coolest movies ever -- Seven, The Game, and Fight Club to name a few -- and put just as much care into this one.  Sure I had some issues with it, but give it a try, and let me know what you think.  I liked it.  It's a long one though, and final note... they don't even attempt to put Brad's head on a "younger" version of himself at the end of the film.  Could he be too old for f/x to make that happen?  Curious.

"The Darjeeling Limited" is another trip with Wes and the gang

Director Wes Anderson certainly has a style all his own.  Dialog driven, dry comedy character pieces that are just slightly peculiar in a way that makes them totally whack.

He's again put Owen Wilson and Jason Schwartzman together who basically play the same sort of characters as their other trips with Wes, but this time, he's added Adrien Brody who feels like he's been a passenger all along.  I don't know what it is about these guys, but I just want to hang out with them.  And this one, like most of his others, has an odd name, The Darjeeling Limited (after the train they are traveling on during a spiritual journey through India).

FilmBender is Funny Movie Reviews.  Anjelica Huston has a role in here that's as good and fun as any of her's I can recall.  Some hot Indian chick is in there (Amara Karan).  Her reaction when Jason parks a digit in her is classic and smokin'.  Natalie Portman is short and sweet and sizzling.  Bill Murray drops in for a frame.  Thank you.  Perfect.