Is it silly to even try to do a review on Into the Blue? Hey!... you!... stop looking at the picture. Yeah... I know... Jessica Alba could probably talk me into eating my elbow or jumping into vat of maggots. If so, all I'll do is think about that creamy bronze skin, that teensy belly pierce, that gently placed hand on her inner thigh, and that mismatched bikini, of which, I'll pretend was put on in a hurried-yet-quiet, humid, post-coital haze after I helped her master that wind-blown, just-f*cked hairstyle. In fact, forget the sex, and speaking of hair, I'd settle for a brush and discover bliss by simply stroking her locks until it all fell out. But since none of that sh*t will ever happen...
Jessica dives through the waters of the warm Caribbean with her friends Paul Walker, Scott Caan, and the also-incredibly-hot Ashley Scott in the crime thriller. The camera man brings all of it to light with just the right angles and capturing all the brilliant colors and fun and excitement that our ugly asses won't ever seem to be able to re-create in our own lives. Oh yeah, and these beautiful people also happen to be treasure hunters, arrgh!, who've stumbled upon a ship and an adjacent sunken airplane packed to the gills with blow. Not that you'll pay much attention to that sort of booty in this film but just watch the movie trailer and read on because...
