FilmBender: sh*tfaced on movies

Intermission: I know, I know... lots of T n A

Ok... so besides watching movies, I think I've come to the conclusion that I must be a pig.  Total obsession with babes and beer and cheeseburgers (with lots of pickles).  No use fighting it... going to just give in and eat, drink and:

• Wow... Aida Iveliz has a hard name to pronounce and a hard body to pounce... check out that backdoor at GorillaMask.net

• And AskMen has a gallery from Miami Swim Fashion Week... lots of skinny, hot babes with crazy eyes and big-*ss hair

• Megan Fox lickin' her lips as she eats up Comic-Con... DailyFix has the pix

• Continuing the theme, The Bachelor Guy has an open letter to my beloved Megan Fox

• If you can't find a funny video clip at Kontraband, you're a dork

• DeadDog has a pic that reminds me of the Ween album cover, Chocolate and Cheese, probably the best ever made (album cover and album)... a chick with big, round canisters poking out of the bottom of a cut-off t-shirt

• Parkour was a big web meme a few years back (even in a Bond movie and that Luc Besson film, District B13), you know, running around cities and jumping off buildings, etc.... aBum has a funny parkour parody

• The tree vagina and other super duper important photos at AfroJacks

• WiiHotties let's us appreciate some amateur T n A... wish I had the guts to show off my junk like that

• And, of course, gotta finish Intermission with another beer... BoozeTime has more than I could possibly consume (probably)

"Hot Fuzz" is everything but bumpin' fuzz

Director Edgar Wright does exactly the same thing he did for zombie movies with Shaun of the Dead for buddy cop movies here in Hot Fuzz -- that goes for the totally fun and convincing two leads, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, plus all the comedic chops, quick cuts, fast action, and film commentary all jam packed into a nearly-perfect buddy, action dark comedy.  Besides the kitchen sink, the only thing he leaves on the cutting room floor, presumably, is a few hot babes.  Literally, there are none.  WTF?!  Maybe he can follow-up with a sexploitaion action buddy comedy next time around.

This movie goes so f*cking machine gun fast that you better not blink or drink or wiz, or you'll simply miss a clever homage to some other buddy/action flick or not keep up with the rat, tat, tat dialogue delivered in thick Brit accents or possibly even lose your way in a fairly fast moving and solid story that's not to be out shown by all the other stuff going on.  If you haven't seen Edgar's work, it may take a little getting used to and may annoy in the onset, but trust me, you'll get up to speed and speak his film style by the climactic finish.  You'll see what I mean... just watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Bruno" has b*lls (and d*ck)

Sacha Baron Cohen does it again.  At some point, he will become simply too famous to be able to pull it off, and by now, if you have yet to know the schtick, you are probably a 'tard, a hill-jack or, excuse me, a product of the projects.  Because here, in Bruno, he pulls the wool and his scrotum over the eyes of all aforementioned.

Case in point, Sacha, as the flamboyant Australia has-been fashionista reporter who's now just trying to become famous, is shown here on a mock set of a talk show hosted by, also has-been Richard Bey, is a flaming father of utmost irresponsibility showing off his new baby.  Yes, the entire audience is filled with enraged African Americans who are either totally staged, totally retarded, or totally ghetto to the point that they don't know Sasha's gimmick that he's made famous on Da Ali G Show and Borat.  So... this takes me to my only criticism about the movie.  I know some of the stuff is staged... that's not a secret nor unintended.  But I'm not sure which parts are and which parts aren't, so for me, what happens is I start to feel that it ALL is and that totally, er, blows the gag.  Just watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"The Hurt Locker" bombs, er, explodes at the box office

Kathryn Bigelow, who directed one of the cheesiest, yet greatest, action thrillers of all time, Point Break, is at it again nearly 20 years later; but this time, she's not bombing down barrels, rather, she's bombing down the U.S. Army's elite EOD (explosive ordnance disposal) teams.  The film's called The Hurt Locker, and I'm not sure if the title is a reference to this silly f*cking space suite they wear for protection or if its the little stash box of dismantled bomb devices that this guy, Jeremy Renner, keeps under his bed.  Maybe it's for something else, but all I know is, these guys have cojones of steel and the determination of teen boy on prom night.

The movie also stars a bunch of other no-names including Anthony Mackie, plus some familiar faces like Ralph Fiennes, David Morse and Guy Pearce.  Some friends of mine told me that I absolutely have to see this film.  Personally, I'm not a huge fan of war films, for me, "surfing's the source," so I'll opt for a little Johnny Utah and let you be the judge.  Just watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"W." is misunderestimated

Oliver Stone points his biopic revolver at the former president of the United States of America, the seemingly limited yet oddly pronounced man, George W. Bush, in the film with the definitively limited and oddly pronounced title, W. (dub-ya).  Those critical of President Bush's run with our country will be pleasuring themselves in a bubble bath of "I told you so" during every single money-shot that Oliver took at the Worstest President ever.  Personally, I'm no fan of Junior, but I have to say, Oliver's genious, hubris and nefarious ability to insert every single little insider, as well as, obvious jab into this movie is a diabolical triumph bordering on animal cruelty -- I just felt sorry for the Good Ol' Boy.

Regardless, it is a great movie that I hope supporters can even enjoy as a satire, as they cringe through Junior's belittling by Papa Bush and his alcoholic tendencies while he fumbles the opportunity and access he was spoon fed because of his big "Bush."  And all voters will surely be amazed by the performances and look-a-likes in the film: Josh Brolin as the Pretender-in-Chief, Richard Dreyfuss as the trigger-happy veep Dick Cheney, Elizabeth Banks as the second first lady Bush, and Thandie Newton as the robotic Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.  Incredible.  See for yourself... just watch the movie trailer and read on because...