FilmBender: sh*tfaced on movies

"17 Again" is dangerously funny

So... I have kids.  I end up seeing a bunch of kid's movies and basically never blog about them.  All the High School Musical movies?... sure... seen 'em.  I'm not really proud of it (probably because I don't think they are horrible).  Try to keep it on the down low.  I also know that even though Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale have turned into hotties, it's just not quite a fit for this blog.

Such is the same that I thought was going to happen when I went with the kids to see 17 Again.  Of course, since it starred Zac Efron, I assumed that this was going to be more of the same (Thriller-inspired dance productions and tween drivel), so I brought along a crew of kids that spanned from ages 4 to age 9.  Oops!  It's a PG-13 film that has Zac (playing a younger version of Matthew Perry) who gets thrown into situations where he is getting hit on by both his daughter (Michelle Trachtenberg) and his mom (Leslie Mann) which isn't so appealing in my real live, but Lord knows we'd all tap these two if we were Zac.  Throw in a bowl of condoms, and you've got plenty of after-movie talk with the chitlens that you never prepared for.  Beyond that discomfort, I f-ing laughed my way through this whole flick... watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Valkyrie" would've been better with Val Kilmer

 

What a story!  I mean, I obviously heard they failed and didn't kill Adolph Hitler.  P*sses me off.  But even with that spoiler out there, the fact that these guys came this close.  And that man, Col. Claus von Stauffenberg, played by Tom Cruise came that close.  F*ck!  That failure might have had something to do with Tom not practicing his German accent before the shooting.  I spotted him right away.  I think Hitler was onto him as well... knew that he wasn't for real.  If only Tom even attempted a German accent... if only he was capable of pulling off a Colonel Klink, then maybe he would have been believable, and just possibly, he could have killed Hitler.  But in Valkyrie, the great film and story about the Resistance and inner circle plotting various attempts on Hitler's life, Tom failed.

Bryan Singer directed the film.  Crazy thing is, he was behind another movie with a mole that achieved in every way, The Usual Suspects.  Although Bryan has done nothing much but the X-Men franchise since, I don't blame him for this one.  Watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Bedtime Stories" and wet dreams

Now and then I feel obligated to review a kids movie because there's really nothing better than kickin' it with your kids or cousins with some popcorn and some laughs.  Generally, I can stomach the animated movies (ie Pixar for sure), and also, I'm pretty stoked when I can find a PG-rated, Saturday Night Live-alum flick.  Adam Sandler has owned the PG-13 realm for some time, and so I'm now happy to report he's just recently stepped onto the wonderful world of Disney, with Bedtime Stories.  The movie is pretty good and nicely taps his brand of goof and tendency to want to speak in marble mouth.

And Guy Pierce is in this as well, of whom, I bagged on in last week's review.  Here, he's got way more personality as a pompous gold digger, so I may slowly start letting him back into my list of go-to actors.  The story is just charming enough and almost clever enough (a take on stories affecting reality, blah, blah, blah) to keep you at full attention.  But what keeps you glued to the screen is the totally, smokin' hottie, Paris Hilton-spoof character played by Teresa Palmer.  OMFG!  I would let her tuck me in, any time.  Watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Traitor" is yet another good treason Don Cheadle is the lead

 

Traitor is a great movie that is smart and keeps you guessing and keeps enough action without all the over-the-top production value to put it among the best espionage thrillers in a long, long time.  Don Cheadle is very effective and believable and can carry a movie... real star power and likable.  This is important in this role, as you aren't sure what side he's on, and it helps create some interesting internal conflict when you find yourself at times nearly rooting for him as the bad guy.

Unfortunately, I can't say the same for Guy Pearce.  He killed it in my opinion as the unforgettably forgetful lead in Memento, but here, he's just plain ol' forgotten.  In fact, I had zero opinion of who he was here and what he was doing... he was so flat, I found myself feeling that I couldn't hear him talking.  My only other real criticism is a scene where Don secretly confronts his sister in such a manner that is totally revealing (and he gets busted, duh), and he ultimately doesn't even accomplish anything in that encounter.  F-ing st*pid.  Anyway, watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Duplicity" could leave you feeling double-crossed

 

Movies like Pulp Fiction certainly mixed up the chronology to help make the film even more interesting.  And it totally works.  Films like Duplicity do this way too much to try to make the movie interesting, but it just makes it confusing.  And I'm not sure if it's because the stakes never really feel high enough to make the film solid on its own or if, and it makes me sad to even say it, Julia Roberts is getting just a tad too old to play the love interest.  Not that Clive Owen is any great catch, and not that Julia isn't still hot.  It just feels... off... or maybe Julia just feels... irrelevant.  Crazy to think it when she held ground as the top babe for so long and even had a film (Notting Hill) where she played the hottest female celebrity in the world.

Anyway, the film is pretty good.  Paul Giamatti and Tom Wilkenson, as usual, killed it and even stole the show here.  Also, the film had an ending that left me a bit deflated.  Behind the pump on this one is Tony Gilroy who blew up directing his freshman effort, the amazing Michael Clayton, but the accomplished screen writer might have to consider putting down the camera with this sophomore outing or consider self-detention.  Judge for yourself... watch the movie trailer and read on because...