FilmBender: sh*tfaced on movies

"Confessions of a Shopaholic" and rationalizing why I watched a chick flick

 

Let's get straight to it... Confessions of a Shopaholic is about as "chick flick" as you could possibly get.  Except I suppose you could at least argue that this one has hot chicks and humor, so maybe it is OK for a guy to watch it.  The film is basically a PG-rated mash-up of Sex and the City and Legally Blonde, so while the MPAA rating takes away much of the "sex" part, it still is a decent story about "addiction" (that could be related to drug, alcoholic and/or online porn habits I suppose) that's pretty funny and, as mentioned, is loaded with hot girls.

Isla Fisher is the lead and does everything she can to push up her cleavage in every outfit (can't believe I just said "outfit").  She's decent.  But the ones to watch if you ask me are the best friend, Krysten Ritter, and the leggy blonde in the pic, Leslie Bibb.  Kristin Scott Thomas, John Goodman, Joan Cusack, John Lithgow and some guy named Hugh Dancy round out the cast.  Watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Burn After Reading" and hachet after shooting

 

I swear to God I'm NOT in love with the Coen brothers.  But even after many people told me that Burn After Reading was not very good, and so I put off watching it for months, and then I watched it last night... I f*cking thought it was great (ok, maybe I am in [heart] with Joel and Ethan).  I think all of their movies are good or incredible.  With this one, maybe I now think it could have something to do with expectation setting, but really, there are many appealing things about it.  While this film is more of a dark comedy instead of a dark drama, it's a lot like Fargo in that it features "locals" who are about as sharp as a bowing ball and keep getting themselves deeper and deeper into trouble because of it.

Another totally cool thing about this movie is a "goofy" Brad Pitt.  I mean, how many times do we need to see "stud" Pitt.  Here, he is probably the roundest of all the goof [bowling] balls of all and is also traveling down the alley for a surprising and explosive strike.  That's another thing that's great about a Coen brothers movie... you just don't know what's going to happen next.  When George Clooney takes Frances McDormand down into his basement, I was scared sh*tless.  And when John Malcovich is on screen, who the f*ck knows what could happen.  Just watch the movie trailer and read on because...

Intermission: girls kissing and a porn star taking a sh*t

Blogging about movies all week until the carpel tunnel and the arthritis renders me useless and then sitting on my thumbs on the weekend.  It's a life.  Some of these links help me pass the time:

• Take a shower with this hot babe at The Bachelor Guy.

• Then link-off to something NSFW and phreaky at GorillaMask.net.

• Jam your tongue down Paris Hilton's throat at The Daily Fix.

• AskMen.com has a gallery of Susan Wayland in her fetish rubber garb.

• Biggest bug you've ever seen at DeadDog.

• Hollywire has the scoop on the Jon & Kate Plus 8 scandal.

• Pictures and videos of girls kissing and other neat-o stuff on aBum.com.

• Feeling smartical... YouThink.com and Quiztron are for you.

• Patrick Warburton is hilarious... Premium Hollywood has the interview.

• Bullz-Eye.com already has a Watchman movie review.

• And last but not least, porn star Bree Olson taking a sh*t at DrunkenStepfather.

"The Ice Storm" is one way to warm up a party

 

I don't think there's been a single cocktail party for couples that I've been to in the past few years with my wife where someone hasn't made reference to a "key party."  Of course, knowing my luck, it's not actually happened as of yet.  Maybe these actually do happen at our friends' parties when we aren't invited or aren't able to attend.  I'm not sure.  But it certainly is on people's minds, and if you don't know what I'm talking about, then you haven't seen The Ice Storm.  Basically, husbands drop their keys into a bowl at the front door when they arrive at the party with their wives, and in raffle fashion, wives pick random keys out of the bowl at the end of the party, of which, determines which husband they go home with and bump fuzz.

Great concept which has become a meme from this movie, no doubt.  I suppose it happens somewhere now-a-days, but from the looks of it in this movie which is set in 1973 suburban Connecticut, the swinging concept used to be a bit more prevalent.  Regardless, the movie is incredible.  It's a drama  with some suble humor about family dysfunction (go figure) that will keep you frozen to the screen.  Christina Ricci (she's one of those understated, totally hot chicks that no one really notices because she wears baggy clothes, but when she's got something tight on, you can't stop staring at her big, round, er, eyes) stars in it along with Joan Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Kevin Kline, Elijah Wood, Katie Holmes, and Tobey Maguire.  Anyway, watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Into the Wild" and over the river and out of your mind

 

Emile Hirsch plays the college kid who's fed up with the real world, so he goes off the grid to the real world in the film adaptation directed by Sean Penn, Into the Wild.  His journey is beautiful and tragic and true (based on Jon Krakauer's epic biographic novel on Christopher McCandless).  Emile bumps into so many great characters along the way like Kristen Stewart as a super-young-but-sexually-curious-and-sizzlin' hippie on a commune to Vince Vaughn who plays his funny and friendly and felonious boss at the grain mill to Hal Holbrook as the venerable sage (I used this term twice this week, and those who happen to be Betas will also find it familiar) to a list that's too long to fully detail but includes Catherine Keener, Marcia Gay Harden, William Hurt and Jena Malone.

The wilderness is packed with irony with its beauty and unforgiving ways (er, can anyone say flash flood) while freeing and trapping in isolation along with being an adventure and claustrophobic to the state of insanity.  The Alanis Morissett lyric that ends up being the dichotomy of death is that while the wilderness presents a safety blanket from the cold madness of what our lives have become in this modern world, if you happen to have the b*lls to actually venture way out there, even the simplest of issues (and there can be many issues) can bring about the most complex and dangerous of predicaments.  Watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Superbad" *ss

You'll hear plenty of classic bad words delivered with incredible skill along with some super bad words that are creative and hilarious ones you'd never dream up like "baby toes" (for "nipples") in Superbad.  In fact, there are so many funny little things in this movie, and I just see co-writer Seth Rogan behind every word and delivery like that funny friend who's always coining something f-ed up that becomes lingo at the whole school and is always crackin' everyone up.  I'd really like to party with that dude.

For Seth, and practically everyone else involved in the film from the cast to the director, this is a feature debut (although it is Seth and Judd Apatow's follow-up production to their also-classic 40-Year-Old Virgin).  Regardless, this hero leaps tall buildings in a single bound.  It is super hilarious.  I suppose Jonah Hill can get a little annoying with his incessant yelling, but he along with Michael Cera and Christopher Mintz-Plasse and hotties Martha MacIsaac and Emma Stone were great.  Watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Wanted" to see Angelina Jolie and some killer f/x

 

Angelina Jolie is definitely hot.  But she brings so much attitude and baggage with her that I'm slightly wanting to pick her apart.  Wanted is a movie that brings the worst of her out on the school ground.  Struttin' around like she's got all dat sh*t.  Again, this would be fine since that's who she's suppose to be in the film, but all the baggage just makes me smirk some of the time.  I thought she was way hotter in one of the most depressing but awesome movies of the year, The Changeling.

But this movie is maybe even more so about the special effects.  Those deliver as well, but I must say, the Bend-It-Like-Beckham-bullet trick was awesome the first time around, and I kind of can't believe that no one has ever put it to film.  But they kind of went to that well a few too many times.  Another amazing stunt that is elegant in it's simplicity is the donut pick-up car maneuver (a name that I just made up)... it's almost shown here but is way cooler as shown in the movie... watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"The Talented Mr. Ripley" has surprising skills

 

Matt Damon is The Talented Mr. Ripley, and as he looks, is also a bookish outsider who's gotten a taste of the good life, and he's just not willing to stop without taking a bite, if not, eating the whole enchilada in this suspense thriller.  Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow are the ones who are livin' large (their normal lives of European heir and his hottie) and welcome Matt into their inner circle.  BTW... Gwyneth looks d*mn good in this one... and I thought I'd also note that, although maybe it was a body double, if you've seen her in that scene of Shallow Hal where she's (in her thin version obviously) bent over the kitchen counter.  OMFG!  You should rent that movie and take a mental snapshot.

Anyway, back to other fiendish thoughts... Matt sneaks himself into their lives and slowly reveals himself to be something that's not exactly as expected.  And if you see what a prick Jude is in this film, you end up rooting for the bad guy which becomes a lot of fun.  You'll see what I mean... watch the movie trailer and read on because...