FilmBender: sh*tfaced on movies

"Synecdoche, New York" doesn't feel like it's spelled right

And this movie doesn't feel like it's really much of anything.  Really.  I feel like a trader even saying it.  But I didn't like it.  I want to bang my head against the wall like Dobby for letting the words escape from my mouth, but sh*t, I just didn't get it.  Synecdoche, New York is a wildly large little film about a nebbish, hypochondriac playwright (Philip Seymour Hoffman) -- who is almost turned on by Samantha Morton's bodacious box office -- and his dissatisfied wife (Catherine Keener) who leaves him and becomes an accomplished painter.

But it's not really about any of that stuff... because it's a screenplay by Charlie Kaufman, we all have to figure out what in the sam h*ll is actually happening.  As you may know, Charlie wrote some of my favorite movies including Adaptation, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind and Being John Malkovich.  This one, like Adaptation, becomes a recursive story but doesn't quite all come together.  Maybe because it's because this is the first time he's tried to direct, but I'm thinking that no one could save this monstrosity.

FilmBender is Funny Movie Reviews.  Jennifer Jason Leigh was a nice surprise in this one... slutty as always.  Wish I had more to say.  But I really want you to know that I tried hard to like this one... I laughed at all the right times and thought at all the others.  What more could I do?  Bums me out to be hatin' like this, but I guess this is really just a cry for help.  Can someone help me understand this one or at least help me learn to spell it?

"Short Bus" nearly ran me over

Please reference the back-story on my short and deadly experience with the Bus on my "About" page.  Anyway, when it showed up on my Netflix recommendations -- btw a company I love and that's helped shape my young adulthood -- I saw this fairly nondescript movie overview:

<snip>  Director John Cameron Mitchel delivers an unbridled look at the New York City underground, focusing on a group of hipsters who frequent a downtown club renowned for its lascivious ways. Through graphic polymorphous sexual couplings -- and using an ensemble cast composed largely of first-time actors -- the film chronicles each character's erotic journey of self-discovery in a raw and riveting fashion.  <snip>

I added it, and it eventually showed up.  So much for shaping my young adulthood.  Holy f*ing sh*t.  Needless to say, what followed is absolutely the most shocking thing I've ever seen.  I'm no prude, but the yoga drink, followed by the butt trumpet, and ultimately the tri-gobble... ugh... I had to turn it off... I just got "ran over by Short Bus."  Maybe that can become a meme/trick like "getting Rick Rolled."  Heck, Rick might have been riding the Bus come to think of it.  Before I close off on this post, I'd like to say that FilmBender sets out to be lovin', not hatin'.  I'm rating this movie so poorly based solely upon the shock and disorientation I've received and not at all due to quality or orientation.  Life's not fair.  Just ask the kids on the short bus.