FilmBender: sh*tfaced on movies

"The Animatrix" for those who take the blue pill AND the red pill

 

I've been blogging on movies I love for almost six months now.  That's nothing compared to some of the blog mavericks like Gawker.com, TheSuperficial.com, BoingBoing.net or even some of the newer, instant classics like HipsterRunnoff.com.  But I can tell you, it already seems like a long time, so silly as it sounds, I thought I'd pay homage to my first post... for one of my all-time favorite movies, The Matrix (not a particularly good post I might add), for which I simply can't get enough.  There obviously are also two sequels which paled in comparison, but when pitted against most of the other sci-fi fare that's regurgitated by the Hollywood machine, they are still rock solid.  However, many people seemed to have missed the animated series of shorts that are a great way to really fill up on your Matrix lore, The Animatrix.

These film shorts are amazing.  They'll remind you of Ghost in the Shell, Heavy Metal and Aeon Flux, but of course, feature Trinity, Neo and the familiar cast of machines and characters that fill the back-story to that special place we all know and love.  Watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Beavis and Butt-head Do America" bareback

Ok... so I've basically gone three days in a row with symmetrical composition movie stills.  Heh, heh.  Heh, heh.  But this one's different because it's got Washington's, er, Monument.  Heh, heh.  Beavis and Butt-head Do America will officially turn you into a moron, and frankly, it's kind of relaxing, so I highly recommend it.

A true pioneer in the raw, "adult animation" genre, this movie (and the TV show it's an extension of) is groundbreaking in making st*pid humor genius (maybe that's a stretch).  The creator, Mike Judge (later, of Office Space fame), wrote, directed and voiced the two main characters and totally captures the 80's, Midwestern, prepubescent hesher mentality (or lack thereof).  It rocks, and the celebrity voices from the likes of David Letterman, Demi Moore and Bruce Willis are the cherry on top.  Heh, Heh... I said "cherry."  Anyway, watch the movie trailer and read on because...

"Bolt" is The Truman Show doggy style

 

Always a good idea to take the little people in your life out to the movies.  Popcorn, soda, candy and a little escapism are always at the top of the list of priorities we should instill onto today's youth.  Bolt totally delivers on the promise of safe action and adventure that won't bore the parents to death.  In fact, I think you'll like it.

It's amazing to me how real they make everything look in these movies now-a-days.  Sure, the skin and faces and the animals don't totally look real.  I assume that's partly intentional, but everything else is literally impossible to tell whether that's actually hard stuff or software behind it.  Reflections, each hair on the fur, the way things move.  Amazing.

But this movie's story is much like The Truman Show, of which, I didn't know about at all before walking into the show.  Total coincidence that I reviewed that Jim Carrey movie a week ago today.  That's a great story... suppose it's ok to knock it off ten years later.

"WALL-E" and EVE sittin' in a tree

Hey dudes.  The holidays are upon us, and you'll surely have to buy some cousins or little bro's or your illegitimates some stocking stuffers... what better than something you can enjoy a bit yourself?  WALL-E is Pixar's latest brick in the business of animation domination.  Obviously, they have the leading films in the space, as I noted in my review of the non-Pixar digital toon, Monster House.

This one is about the last "being" on earth, WALL-E, who's a clunky robot with a fetish for hand holding.  In comes EVE, a hard boiled hottie as far as WALL-E's concerned, and he's bound and determined to crack her if it's the last thing he does (or anyone does for that matter).  (Note: not to get totally sophomoric on you, but I did find it a little amusing that the female robot was in the shape of an egg and thought it would have added a bit if the male one was a little more sperm-like in shape.)  The movie has its challenges since there's hardly a single word of dialogue, and it's subject matter is primarily a statement on the human condition (or ultimate lack of conditioning).

FilmBender is Funny Movie Reviews.  So I'm not sure the kids are going to absolutely love this heady movie, but it may set the stage for some serious questions that you can field and no doubt impress yourself with having an intellectual edge over your audience.  Or, if you find that topic a little challenging, maybe just gift this director's other flick, Finding Nemo, and try to explain your way around the death of Nemo's mom in the first five minutes.  Yeah... that's what I thought.  Just stick with WALL-E and make up some sh*t about space and time and the meaning of life.

"Monster House" might get your *ss kicked

Have kids?  Got a little bro or sis?  Ever have to baby site?  Or ever just feel like a kid?  (I said feel like, not act like.)  If so, there's a bunch of great animated movies that even a bachelor can appreciate.  Pixar continues to cough them up like a two-pack-a-day habit -- all the Toy Story movies, Monsters, Inc., The Incredibles, Finding Nemo, WALL-E, blah, blah, blah.  Plus the Shrek films are hilarious and fun to watch as well.  Even if you can't stand dirty, snot-nosed kids, you've surely seen most all of these juicy boogers.

But I bet you've never seen Monster House.  You have to check it out.  And make sure you totally set yourself up to appreciate it... surround sound if you've got it, lights off, big TV and your full attention.  For a "kids movie" this one is pretty f*cking scary with an original story to boot.  The animation in this film in particular looks amazing too -- seems like it's practically 3D if you're watching in Humboldt County.

As you can surmise, some kids are scared of the spooky house in their neighborhood, and it appears to even be alive.  Voices of Steve Buscemi, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Fred Willard, Jason Lee, etc.  Take a look at the trailer.

 

FilmBender is Funny Movie Reviews.  So while this one isn't your typical guy movie, and there's a good chance that your buddies will call you a p*ssy for even renting it, party up with 'em and give it a try... maybe they'll like it... maybe they'll haze you for it, forever.

"Team America: World Police" and puppet porn

There are all sorts of, well, redeeming things about this movie that most people with a sense of humor will dig.  And you'll certainly enjoy it if you're a fan of South Park or any of the other Trey Parker and Matt Stone projects -- searing political commentary, Hollywood insider references, original use of animation, low-brow comedy and unbelievably well done musical segments.  But what's an absolute must see and trumps absolutely everything else in the whole d*mn thing is the sex scene in Team America: World Police.  You simply won't believe it.

Sorry for the spoiler, but I was told it was in there.  Didn't ruin it for me.  I tried watching it lying next to my sleeping wife at Midnight with my headphones on and lying on my back with my laptop on my chest.  Our bed was shaking, but no, not because of any kinky maneuvers on my part (solo or duo), but because I was trying to hold back laughter so unsuccessfully that I nearly went into convulsions.  My wife was getting p*ssed.  She never turned over to take a look at what I was laughing at.  Thank God she didn't.  She would really think I was a s*ck f*ck.

 

FilmBender is Funny Movie Reviews.  The even funnier thing is... people really do that sh*t.